Reasoning

guess who's back to recover all these past words that has been said? ~

eu tambem continuo fazendo versos como quem morre...

.ouy...

I don't care if it might not be the right time,
I don't care if I might not be the right one....
what I care is there is something between us...
and this is some kind of secret that I wish to share with you
I wish to tell you what I need more than anything in my life
what I want more than anything in my life
what I'll miss more than anyone in my life
who I love more than anyone in my life...

...what I'm trying to say, is that I'm feeling better everyday,
and this is something about us.

.

Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find 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mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.Trying to find some peace of mind.

...

A incapacidade para se notar que até mesmo os estranhos tem semalhanças no íntimo, no pessoal, é atordoante.
De certa forma, é confortável saber que ao menos alguns estranhos são capazes de te entender.

''Mas como é que só em me olhar você me convence de que o céu é ali, logo à frente?
Como é que só em falar com esse jeito maduro você me desarma e eu me mostro imaturo? Rendido... inseguro....
Como é que eu te sigo no caminho de amigo, se no fim faltam as pernas e o teto do abrigo?
Ah! Menina! Moça, senta, esquenta tua sopa... deixa que eu enxugo a sua roupa.
E apanha o rodo, que eu arrasto esse choro para o fundo do poço.
Ah! Criança! Distante. Estende a mão que o brinquedo está ao seu alcance, no alto desta estante, te esperando pra brincar...
Vem! Entra e aceita. A mágica já está feita, pois com tanta incerteza, quanto mais se vira a mesa, mais te deixo me levar...''

texto escrito por um estranho amigo, Peixe.

http://cabecadenuvem.blogspot.com/

Serenity Painted Death

...ate porque não parece o mesmo jogo, apesar das mesmas regras.

A sensação não é comparável com a de antes...é melhor.

É melhor a presença e a proximidade.
É melhor os poucos segundos a mais em que paramos no olhar.

oh sweetheart...
''through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead''

Reign over me

...e nas mesmas palavras venho dizer que estou cansado de pensar no futuro e nas coisas que podem acontecer, mesmo que isso seja uma característica normal para aqueles que não vivem um presente muito bom.

...

pra que entender?
pra que procurar explicações?

não seria mais facil somente sentir?

Still raining...

"Logo, o vazio deixado nas tardes quentes, da recordação dos encontros certos e sem avisos, das comemorações. Parece que o sonho faz cobertura ao tempo da chegada. Na partida, porém, esse mesmo sonho se desdobra numa emoção peculiar de não acolhermos direito. O dia marcado ou o “de repente parti” me remete ás manhãs em que os pardais se espantam com um bicho inédito em cima da árvore. Uma espécie de traição em que só se comprova as vítimas por não saberem ser outra coisa. Crime perfeito. E perfeito o amor imperfeito de Amigo porque, mesmo deixando de haver as datas, dura. Fica a lembrança de que outrora fomos aceitos, ainda que não houvesse aprovação, de que ficávamos á vontade como se estivéssemos em companhia de nós mesmos, do ensinar na mágoa a linguagem do perdão. E aquele diálogo de gestos que dispensam tese, literatura, filosofias, discursos. A prova da Amizade é a falta mesma de prova, porque nunca se traduz bem o dia-a-dia, embora triste e solitário pela partida."

“Tomo o maior cuidado de não entendê-lo. Sendo impossível entendê-lo, sei que se eu o entender é porque estou errando. Entender é a prova do erro. Entendê-lo não é o modo de vê-lo.”

Satisfeito

Eu detesto esse desgosto que desce pelo esófago como se estivesse diretamente ligado ao coração.
Meu coração está de barriga cheia.

Fissuras e Estilhaços

É como se fossemos crianças que ficam obsecadas por um simples laser vermelho de canetas especiais, maravilhadas com o rastro da bolinha brilhante nas paredes. Sempre somos forçados a seguir tal rastro por todas as direções, e mesmo que percamos de vista, o encontramos rapidamente como um reflexo educado.

Pra que esse jogo infantil de troca de olhares?

Nothing's wrong

...e todo dia o branco do acordar vai escurecendo em meus pensamentos.
É mesmo necessário refletir sobre as mesmas coisas todos os dias?
Essa sensação de estar parado no tempo enquanto o tempo passa nunca vai passar?

Mesmo aprisionado nessa ampulheta, caindo junto aos montes de areia, me conforta saber que você é a mão que gira meus minutos, a mão que côa grão a grão as areias da minha escuridão, distanciando-os pouco a pouco ao menos do meu corpo, as dores diárias do acordar.

...

"Eu não sou nada, e a desgraça cai sobre minha cabeça e eu só sei usar palavras e as palavras são mentirosas, e eu continuo a sofrer"

Isolation Years...

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

...

e eu tento nao me deixar abater, mas as vezes realmente nao da pra segurar.

Isolation Years...

There's a sense of longing in me
As I read Rosemary's letter
Her writing's honest
Can't forget the years she's lost

In isolation
She talks about her love
And as I read
"I'll die alone"

I know she's aching

There's a certain detail seen here
The pen must have slipped to the side
And left a stain
Next to his name
She knows he's gone

And isolation

Is all that would remain
"The wound in me is pouring out
To rest on a lover's shore"

Isolation years

our first kiss wont be the last..

our love is to deep to end that fast...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

..

..

..

.

.

.

..que saco.

walk through...

Hatred

heart - r + lil mix = hate!
=D+D+D+D==D=D+=D+D=D+D+D+D+=dD

tamtamtamtamtammtamtamtamtamtamtmatmtamtamtamtamtamtamtamtatatamtam
hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatheahtaehteahtaethaethehtaehteahteah
htAEhtAEHTAEHTAHTHAETHEAHTHAETHAHATEHHATEHATEHAHTEAHAHTAHETEAHTAHEATHTAEHTAEH
!1!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!11!!#$#%#^$8@*


I'm talking about true love.

..

nao...meus pensamentos realmente eram fatos. eu sabia, mas preferia nao acreditar.
eu ate falei..e ouch, mais uma mentira!

convulsoes seguidas de vomitos =)

eh tao facil de ver..mas nao de entender..

entao ja chega neh?
.






nao existe mais...
nao existo mais...

dear..

So there goes my life
Passing by with every exit sign
It's been so long Sometimes
I wonder how I will stay strong
No sleep tonight
I'll keep on driving these dark highway lines

And as the moon fades

One more night gone, only twenty more days

But I will see you again

I will see you again a long time from now

And there goes my life

Passing by with every departing flight

And its been so hard

So much time so far apart

And she walks the night

How many hearts will die tonight

And when things have changed

I guess I'll find out in seventeen days

But I will see you again

I will see you again a long time from now

My body aches

And it hurts to say

No one is moving

And I wish that I weren't here tonight

But this is my life.

And I will see you again

I will see you again a long time from now

And I will see you again

I will see you again a long time from now

...

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

But I know I'm on a losing streak
'Cause I passed down my old street
And if you wanna show, then just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

All this talk of getting old

It's getting me down my love

Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown

This time I'm comin' down

Now the drugs don't work

They just make you worse

But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too

Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

But if you wanna show, just let me know

And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work

They just make you worse

But I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

I'm never going down, I'm never coming down

No more, no more, no more, no more, no more

I'm never coming down, I'm never going down

No more, no more, no more, no more, no more

....

..

happy valentine's day
...

Sorry...

...

... and i finally reach my ...end.

Pelo o que vejo e sinto, o tempo é um perfeito mecanismo unicamente capaz de realizar todas as transformações...tanto desejáveis como indesejáveis.

Paciência, pressa, ansiedade...horas, dias, anos...

Sinto pena, ou talvez raiva, que o tempo ao mesmo tempo seja fraco e incapaz de apagar por completo vários momentos que o próprio tempo nos faz e nos fará passar.

Será o tempo, aquele eterno sofredor que propositalmente incide os males sobre nós?
(somos aqueles que causamos tal sofrimento)

...

????????????????????????????????????????????????????

hundred thoughts...

essa chuva pesada que sinto furar-me a pele como flechas afiadas;
essas nuvens fracas e tão rápidas sob a luz do luar;
esses ventos gélidos que queimam o florescer dos nossos pensamentos;
essa dor que se agrava em cada momento que não consigo gritar palavras perdidas;

pensamentos traduzidos em números?

tão fácil seria se os teus estivessem de alguma forma conectados aos meus;
tão estranha era a vontade de decifrar suas expressões;
tão excitante eram as respostas dos teus gestos aos meus pensamentos;
tão intensa se tornava a confusão no eclodir das minhas hipóteses;

será assim que se sente ao imaginar o que se passa em minha mente?
ou sou o único que continuo a pensar demais?

poor boy, you suck at life...

minhas palavras estão esgotadas, minhas forças estão esgotadas....
todos os meus sonhos e vontades entraram em conflito e se perderam nessa confusão..

EU NÃO AGUENTO MAIS ESSE AR PESADO QUE ME DEIXA ATORDOADO.

ate parece que é o oxigênio que eu venho respirando que esta me fazendo sufocar cada vez mais..
e desde quando uma pessoa que não consegue respirar em paz consegue pensar?
e ate quando eu sou capaz de não respirar?

Silêncio...

Os meus piores pesadelos encontram-se no surgir da escuridão, que tomada pelo silêncio, grita em minha mente petrificando as minhas dores, assim, sólidas e permanentes.
Entrego-me a esses mudos momentos de agonia, nos quais sufoco em abismos antes esquecidos... abismos feitos de nada, abismos feitos de medo.
Abraçado e imobilizado, sinto o rasgar das marcas deixadas em meu corpo pelas fantasias que me fizeram pecar, o abrir e fechar das mais profundas feridas.
Deitado sobre espinhos, sinto meu sangue ser derramado ao chão das minhas lástimas acompanhado das lágrimas que pouco me restam.
Incapacitado e sem forças, sinto todo o sofrimento causado por esse momento...
e de olhos bem abertos me vejo sendo seduzido pela morte..
adormecendo ao lado dela.

...

Eu não consigo dizer em palavras a sensação que sinto quando vejo essa foto.
Eram tantos motivos que me destruiam enquanto esse dia passava... olhar pra ela tras a tona todas as imagens, todos os momentos e todas as palavras que ficavam ecoando nos meus pensamentos..
Mas por qual motivo eu mantenho essa foto comigo?
A dor é um caminho curto de aprendizagem, e por mais bizarro que seja, eu fui educado por ela. E ja que é normal quando todos dizem que amam as coisas com quais convivem/conviveram por um longo período, considero normal dizer que eu amo as minhas dores. Sim, eu amo essa dor.
Eu consigo ver essa criatura (estranha?) que vive dentro de mim. Criatura que ainda não me ensinou a aprender com a felicidade da mesma forma que aprendo com as minhas queridas dores.
Só o meu passado é capaz de fazer com que me entendam, só o meu passado é capaz de fazer com que eu entenda os meus problemas e tome decisões sobre eles.
Até entao, eu sobrevivo sendo guiado por essa filosofia.

...

Solidão

As sólidas paredes azuis que me cercam sufocam o pior grito de dor do meu coração amaldiçoado...

O desespero toma posse quase por completo dessa minha alma sedenta por uma gota de esperança, sedenta pela cura, por uma chance de poder abrir as minhas asas negras e sentir o vento passar por elas, levando todos os passados narrados pela depressão...

Mesmo assim fico a espera de uma chance de poder me libertar dessa corrente enferrujada pelas minhas lagrimas de sangue contaminado pelo ódio de sobreviver nesta ilusão, solidão.

Afogo toda a minha essência humana no meu próprio lago de fogo, queimando a minha carne e tornando a dor uma eterna companheira.

Talvez para que eu possa me conformar com o meu único caminho de sobrevivência..
ou talvez para que eu crie coragem...e abandone a minha necessidade de respirar...